Tag Archives: lesbian

Being Gay And Guilty Of Stereotyping

I had the pleasure of attending my friends Wedding Blessing. They were celebrating 33 wonderful years together and decided to renew their vows. I can honesty say I have never experienced anything quite like it nor do I think I ever will again.

wedding handsThe Service the was mostly organised by the Wife of the couple, her Husband was happy to be a statue and stand where he was bid. He would have stood there naked if it would have pleased his lovely wife.

There I am sitting in the pew, waiting for it all to begin and I noticed the Minister. He was an older Gentleman, small in stature but he had the most compelling voice. He introduced himself and welcomed my friRoman-Collarend and I to the Church. Turns out he is the reigning World Champion in Flower Arranging. Mac, as he introduced himself to us, never mentioned this, in fact had it not been mentioned in the Thank you speech, none of us would have been any the wiser.

As the Service continued, I should have been focussed on my friends but I couldn’t take my eyes of Mac. There was something just so familiar about him, I suspect he just had the gift of making everyone feel like a friend. At the end of the service my friend arrived over to us with Mac and another guy on her arm. The other guy, was the opposite of Mac, over 6ft tall, manicured nails, designer glasses, couture suit, aftershave that wafted around us, making me want to enquire its make. I shook hands with Mac again, adorned in his Ministerial Robes and turned to shake the hand of this handsome stranger and to my utter shock and disbelief as I’m shaking his hand, he’s introduced as Macs Husband.

As the reception continued, I found myself musing, if I had some internal notion that Ministers should be celibate, or must be straight. Maybe it was the fact I had looked at Mac, this small, elderly man and decided he had to have a typical Ministers wife at home, who would make sure his attire was neat and tidy and he had his glasses with him. Why shouldn’t he have a husband?
Why couldn’t or shouldn’t a Minster be gay?
Should the Flower arranging title have been a stereotypical clue?

As I started to munch through a ham sandwich, I wondered if there were other preconceived notions I had or held about other folks?
I like to think I am open and accepting of anyone, no matter race, creed, size or shape, but today I had written this enigmatic older Gentleman off as a retired Minster who must have a home maker wife. His Husband came over and sat at the table my friend and I were at.
What an interesting man. He talked with passion on many different topics. He made me laugh when he talked about Mac forgetting where he had left his reading glasses, only to discover they were on top of his head.

The tone of his voice, softened as he playfully teased Mac and you could easily hear that it was in jest and he was indeed proud of his Husbands many different achievements, his World Champion Status, his standing in the Church. They way they smiled at each other, the twinkle in each others eyes made me yearn for something similar.

For the first time since the end of my current relationship, when asked if I was with someone, I confirmed my single status. The words sounded so strange coming out of my mouth, but after they were said I actually felt more at ease. We spent the rest of the afternoon critiquing Celebrity outfits and decided we obviously had much better taste than they!

Two days have past and I still find myself reflecting to Mac and his delightful Husband. The incorrect assumptions I had made, the look of surprise I tried to hide when we were introduced.
How can I be outraged and pissed off when someone makes an incorrect assumption about me when I am just as guilty as they are?

My hope is that this chance encounter with a delightful new couple will teach me a valuable lesson. You truly cannot judge someone, based on a two second glance. I would have missed out on a delightful afternoon in their company.

So what did I learn?

Never judge a Minister by his job,
never assume you will suddenly have these gay spidey sense that will tingle and alert you to every other LGBT person in a 1 mile vicinity to me.

Oh yes, I almost forgot. I can say I am recently single without bursting into flames and complimenting a gay man on his aftershave ensures you a BFF for life.

 

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Filed under March 2013

Fun Sized Future Hero

As a family, we have been blessed with a new baby girl. She is my Great Niece, sleepingwhich still seems strange saying it, but stranger still she is my Twin Brothers first Grandchild.

My Bro and I have grown closer the older we get. His wife passed away almost 2 years ago, so this little lady has been something/one for them all to focus on. He is truly head over heels in love with this little girl. He was always a very hands on Dad, but I have a feeling he’s going to be a very attentive Grandpa as well.

When I look at my Bro, I still see a goofy kid that was a pain in my ass, who loves fast cars, UFC, Smokie And The Bandit Movies and has never met a flavour of ice cream he didn’t like!smokey
These things I remember with fondness but the things that I truly associate with this man now, revolve around the love of his life, his two girls and his new love this beautiful baby.  As a single Dad he never missed a step, he took each blow that came his way and even had the hard conversations, the embarrassing conversations. His children know he loves them unconditionally and that he would gladly take  bullet for them, or kill anyone that would be stupid enough to hurt them.  He works hard, and expects nothing but the same from the folks he surrounds himself with.

Watching this tall, hairy beast of a mountain man singing softly to his Granddaughter would melt the coldest heart. I know he misses his wife, they had been High School sweethearts. She passed leaving behind a 21 year old and a 14 year old. I know as proud as he is to hold his precious Granddaughter his heart his heavy and aching knowing how much his wife would have loved all of this, the build up, the excitement and ultimately the healthy arrival of a new life.

It occurred to me when this brand new little girl comes of age that she hopefully won’t have to face alot of the prejudices, that exist today. Everything from women being paid less for carrying out the same job as their male counterparts to having someone judge her character on which sex she chooses to sleep with.
I find myself chuckling as I type this, my mind racing with the ridiculous things that will be obsolete. The idea of her not having to fulfil the archaic roles that women notoriously have been pushed and moulded into makes me wonder how she will react to me when I share my ‘In My Day’ stories. She’ll be 18 and I’ll be 62. It will no longer matter whom she will chose to love as long as they’re a good person, treat her well and realises my Brother will inflict harm to anyone that causes her heartache.

I struggle to picture these changes. Will we ever have a time where people will just be people. A time when it wont matter about how much money you make or what car you drive. A time where there will not be world hunger, child abuse, starvation, the list goes on and on. I wonder will there still be Pandas, Elephants, Whales, Giraffes living in their natural habitats or will she only hear about these amazing creatures in books and listening to stories?

My youngest Niece is 16 and fiercely defends her family and extended family regardless of topic or choice. I hate that she has to defend me, but makes me proud and humble that she does so willingly. For her she doesn’t have a ‘Gay Aunt’, she simply has an Aunt who will let her away with most things, buys the cool gifts, stand in line over night with her for boy band tickets and an Aunt who will come pick her up whenever she calls, no questions asked or explanation needed.

Now she gets to be the ‘Funtime Aunt’ to this new little life. I watch her cradle her and sing her the latest One Direction songs or explain in depth to her about which one is the better looking and why. I wonder how many late night phone calls she’ll be woken up by, needing a ride home. How many times she’ll be the lender of money?, How many times she’ll roll her eyes while listening to the latest music sensation, or how many cuddles she’ll willingly offer up when needed or just because.

If I have done my job correctly this 3 week old little baby is going to be spoilt, indulged and know that when she feels the world is against her she always has someone that will be her cheer leader in her corner.  I suspect that I will still be called upon for the latest ‘clothes trend’ purchase, but if truth be told I love that at 16 she still wants to come hang out, watch the latest movies and dance along to the latest pop song. I love that she makes sure I have my meds with me while we’re out and even takes me to task when I don’t. She still wants to climb into bed beside me to watch Saturday morning cartoons while she munches through my cereal and spill orange juice on the bed.

superheroMy Great Niece has an amazing Aunt, who is going to be one of her heroes. I know because she’s already one of mine

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Filed under March 2013

Is My Cats Penis Barbed?

Strangely, I couldn’t even type that without both grinning and winching at the same time. Sighs, I wish it had been a rhetorical question, but no …… as I am receiving my Vitamin B injection, my nurse blurts out,
“My cat has a barbed Penis”

My initial reaction was
“Excuse me?”, quickly followed with a quick mental calculation of the amount of energy I would require to jump outta the chair, throw open the locked door all while stifling what I KNEW could only sound like a screeching feline.
After a deep breath and  mental image of my escape routine vanishing before my eyes, I succumbed and managed,
“Is he one of a kind?”, while quietly praying she would be paged or called away.
It would seem all  lil guy cats have a barb similar to a fishing hook, which when inserted in the object of his affection, causes her to ovulate, apparently to aid in conception……. By now if you eyes haven’t imploded or spun violently around in your head the worst is to come (poor pun, I apologize).
The well meaning nurse rounded off her impromptu cats and bees conversation with,
“You know that’s why they make that horrendous noise when they’re mating, no one knows if it’s orgasmic joy or incredible pain!!!!!!!”

The best I could manage was,
“Wow!, Really?”, as I beat a hasty retreat. The drive home was a blur and every cute, adorable, fluffy lil kitten that I subsequently encountered on my Facebook Wall left me feeling that I should campaign to warn all the poor, innocent, unknowing little kittens of their impending barbarous adult
encounters!!!!!
I feel another shower is due, I feel dirty and not in a good way…. I only wanted a bloody injection, not to be scarred for life!!

image

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Filed under March 2013

Nurses, jags and Needles!

B12, aaah ! Ok, feeling better now, in a few hours I go to have a B12 jag/shot. It actually isnt painful, more annoying how everytime its a new nurse they want to make sure you arent dizzy and wont faint and of course need to stay in their lil room for 20 mins, sighs……. this does nothing for my ego, but at least I get 20 mins of catching up on whatever has caught my attention on my Kindle. Last month, the poor nurse, he walked into the table and actually hit his head on the storage cabinet when in answer to his question of
‘What ya reading?’
I casually answered, ‘The Mammoth Book Of Lesbian Erotica’
Since he now had a head injury, I asked him if he would like to sit down if he was feeling faint…..It seemed the only right thing to do :0)

Dizzy Nurse

Dizzy Nurse

 

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Filed under March 2013