I tell my kids, you only get one chance to make a first impression, but is it possible we actually get a ‘do over’?
Normal Saturday night, you run through your mental checklist as you look into the mirror. Hair, tidy and smart.
Chain under T-Shirt, somethings need to be close to your heart.
Clothes, clean, pressed, dressed to impress.
Belt centred, wallet in pocket, phone, car keys….
Boots, laced up not to unravel, jeans breaking nicely over them
Cheesy grin to check teeth for unidentified hiding objects, OK suited and booted lets go.
You’re feeling confident walking in the jeans that fit just right. You can feel the curve of your wallet against your butt. Your stride has swagger, but not too much. You’re meeting with friends, ‘Oh Please Lord, let them not have accidentily on purpose brought a ‘new friend’ for me to meet’. All I want to do is catch up, throw down some beers and maybe play a little pool, while flirting harmlessly with anyone who catches my eye.
Yay!!, My pals are already there, beers are lined up, this is shaping up to be a memorable night. We chat over a couple long necks and then it happens, I get introduced to a mutual couple known to my friends.
Hey I’m a polite person, I have manners and shake hands, offering to buy a drink. The ‘Butch’ decides to order for both of them, now this is not unusal , granted, but what falls out of her mouth is. If I removed the swear words I think she would be left with maybe 3 words.
Now, up until this point, I have no other thoughts or judgements other than, hey you’re friends with my friends that’s good enough for me. Then the mouthful of cussing spews forth. All I really wanted to know was it a beer and a cocktail? not a Motherf**king beer and a G*dDammit, she’ll drink one of those pussy cocktails, anything thats f**king pink!
So I order a round of drinks for everyone, while mentally running through the past five minutes……. wow, maybe it was a show of strength….. albeit a pathetic, ignorant and impotent display. We all sat round a table with our drinks, debating how we would bring around world peace, you know the normal stuff….. I’m watching the ‘femme’, she looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights, anytime she starts to offer an opinion or thought, her mighty ‘butch’ either shouts over her, or mocks her with such quips as ‘yes, honey, but we know you dont know f**k about that’
I pause here to point out I refer to them as femme and butch as their names are irrelevant, and this seems the best way to give you a visual image.
So this loud, abnoxious ‘butch’ continues, with crude, degrading language that is doing nothing but embarassing her ‘femme’ and making herself out to be an uneducated buffoon. I shoot a look at my friends, they are as stunned as I. I can see the ‘Oh No’ look on their faces, they know I wont let this go on too much longer. Then, that idiot ‘butch’ made some crass comment towards her girlfriend, while grabbing at her crotch under her skirt…….. I’m done, and very politely address this pathetic excuse for a human being and tell her that the next words out of her mouth had better be, ‘I’m sorry’. Shes stunned, more than a little taken a back, and starts to square of her shoulders as another tirade of tasteless words fall out of her mouth. Again, I told her, she needed to apoligize, she is furious and starts to rise to her feet……. I sigh and stand first, I have easily 6 inches on her. I am the calm one, her femme hasnt moved, but hasnt taken her eyes off the unfolding drama. My friends are trying to appease everyone, bouncers move over towards us, I was expecting to get told to leave, instead this pompous ‘butch’ was told to leave or be carried out. She tells her ‘femme’, ‘lets go’, her femme looks at me and then back at her, mouths ‘Thank you’ and leaves with the now fuming little troll.
First impression, a out, visible butch/femme couple helping make a unique relationship dynamic part of the norm, second and real impression, a foul mouthed, ego driven, disrespectful Troll that rules her relationship with crass innuendo, fear and worse of all disrespect. She epitomises every negative stereotype the media create, she endorses everything a butch/femme relationship isnt. She is missing out on so much, and as for her ‘femme’, I dont know what happened in her life to make her feel that her self worth dictates being treated this way, I truly hope she finds the strength to see through this charade. Second impression, rude, disrespectful, excuse for a human being, who sees the ‘femme’ on her arm as property to be used, abused and degraded…….. true impression