Shake Or Sniff first?

I arrived this morning at my local vets Practice, I even had left enough time to walk my Lil guy just in case the urge to display his manliness overtook him while in the waiting room and he decided to pee again for all to see, he doesn’t seem to care that us humans frown on public urination…… I guess its a dude thing.

We were initially alone in the waiting room, and he was strutting his terrier finest with the  Nurses, I couldn’t help but square my shoulders a lil more and smile at the attention he was receiving and in return so was I (Hey, I’m honest not blind and there’s something about a woman in uniform lol)

This is where my Grandmothers words would ring true,
‘Pride cometh before a fall’
My street credibility was about to nose dive, leaving my Butch swagger in tatters. The door opened and a cute blonde Lab pup sashayed into the room. In true cartoon fashion, my lil guys eyes popped out of his head and it was love at first sight….. Love as in flipping this vision of puppy beauty over onto her back and with adept swiftness, proceed to initially sniff her now exposed genitalia, then that noise. Oh that unique noise,  known to all, spoke of by none THE SLURP……… hangs head

I’m dragging my little guy backwards, wow, who knew how long a dogs tongue really was. He scratching the floor, the not so prude pup is laying on her back, legs spread, her owners and their kids are frozen in abject horror. I was never so happy to have the Vet appear and call our turn, lifting my lil guy, I tried to beat a hasty retreat while apologizing profusely and trying to cover up his throbbing erection, again must be a dude thing. Lol

SO, it occurred to me, if they had shook paws would they have learnt as much about each other? or in deed would she have ended up violated in such a way? Dogs meet and greet by smeling each others butts, then postulating in front of each other, kinda like any gay bar on a friday night, albeit minus the butt sniffing.

If you follow this thought process further the  information dogs glean within 2 sniffs, would normally cost you at least 3 or 4 drinks and a hour or so of your time all in the hope that you might have found an intelligent individual, and not a high maintenance pillow princess or an axe murderer! 

Maybe dogs have the inside track and shaking hands is a redundant form of fact finding communication, I just cant imagine not being punched if I leant over and sniffed an attractive Femmes butt!



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Filed under March 2013

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