Strangely, I couldn’t even type that without both grinning and winching at the same time. Sighs, I wish it had been a rhetorical question, but no …… as I am receiving my Vitamin B injection, my nurse blurts out,
“My cat has a barbed Penis”
My initial reaction was
“Excuse me?”, quickly followed with a quick mental calculation of the amount of energy I would require to jump outta the chair, throw open the locked door all while stifling what I KNEW could only sound like a screeching feline.
After a deep breath and mental image of my escape routine vanishing before my eyes, I succumbed and managed,
“Is he one of a kind?”, while quietly praying she would be paged or called away.
It would seem all lil guy cats have a barb similar to a fishing hook, which when inserted in the object of his affection, causes her to ovulate, apparently to aid in conception……. By now if you eyes haven’t imploded or spun violently around in your head the worst is to come (poor pun, I apologize).
The well meaning nurse rounded off her impromptu cats and bees conversation with,
“You know that’s why they make that horrendous noise when they’re mating, no one knows if it’s orgasmic joy or incredible pain!!!!!!!”
The best I could manage was,
“Wow!, Really?”, as I beat a hasty retreat. The drive home was a blur and every cute, adorable, fluffy lil kitten that I subsequently encountered on my Facebook Wall left me feeling that I should campaign to warn all the poor, innocent, unknowing little kittens of their impending barbarous adult
I feel another shower is due, I feel dirty and not in a good way…. I only wanted a bloody injection, not to be scarred for life!!